If I were to give up something for next Lent which really is a sacrifice, I would have to give up theoretical language. This blog has always been intended as a collection of notes for my own future (because of the certainty that, even if no one else reads these posts, I would probably when the time comes.) I did recently look back at past posts which I wrote in Canada, and it really gave me the feeling that something definite did happen since I moved over here which makes me feel a real distance between back then and right now (and the evidence is there, the text!) But exactly what this distance is and who or what caused it still remain mysteries. I'm happy to keep them so - always have been very bad at self-analysis or self-reflection.
Anyways, I did tend to flood my blog with esoteric language dealing with esoteric topics like German modern philosophy and the nature of time and logic and mathematics and literature. Writing these things requires me to think, but more importantly it requires me to test my own seriousness towards what goes on in the as it were 'spiritual' world, the world where the human heart and intellect, as one team, can alone perceive.
I am still very hesitant with the idea of including conventional interactions and discourse into this spiritual world. Often times, conventional behavior is a result of compulsion, not a product of free thought or decision. And it also often times lacks sincerity, or, even if it is sincere to a degree, the person is most likely not doing her best to be so. In short, convention is a compromise which we make not only in relation to others but also in relation to ourselves.
Perhaps the task of teaching is to show a way to dispel such conventions and make room for freedom. A more advanced teaching would be to show a way to think about freedom freely, which is after all the business of philosophy.
I am teaching junior-high and high school students as a private tutor. In Japan, and as somewhat of an outsider. What I mean is that, since being someone who has 'returned from abroad' and who has been immersed in a 'Western' culture, the way in which I think and act and interact do not fit into 'ordinary' Japanese norms, and this misfit shows. Some are forgiving towards this misfit, and I have always been saved by those who have shown such an openness and a willingness to excuse or forgive. But others do not, and there were not a few unfortunate instances where a fallout happened which was clearly due to some fundamental discord which had to do with my not being 'Japanese' or 'Canadian' enough.
Now many students whom I teach are living examples of such 'misfits.' Especially boys. Although maybe girls are equally uneasy with where they are right now, but they are just able to deal with it more positively. I have noticed that boys and guys tend to escape into something else whenever something is not working in their present social relations with their family and friends. They either tend to withdraw into themselves - which was also my own tendency - or into an activity that nobody else approves - which, come to think of it, was also what I chose to do during my late teens. In both cases, parents and friends act negatively towards this decision. They taunt or criticize or even attack violently the teenage boy who has just decided to deviate.
In truth, this deviation is an essential step towards living freely, that is, to notice that nothing is predetermined for humans, that everything is up for grabs. Of course, in reality the boy will probably see only a very limited number of alternative things that he can do. But at least he has broken away from the mentality of doing things "just because that is the way things have been done."
Teaching such a student is a very complicated task. On the one hand, I definitely do not want to ruin the chances for this boy to return to school, to go to university and to continue to cultivate his thoughts - for thought is the ultimately free element of humans that accompanies one's whole life up until the very last moment. One the other hand, however, I cannot force him to conform to the demands placed by the public education system, which is essentially that of mindless memorization and repetition of textbook material. The middle way is to take something out of the textbook that might be of particular interest to the student and then develop it in a way that is actually relevant to what the student is willing to do at present. This will most likely mean that the tutor spends time discussing matters that have nothing to do with the upcoming exam, but hey, this is the reason for this being a compromise.
From the parents' and teachers' point of view, perhaps it is disappointing - particularly in Japan, where convention still is the Truth, and where convention says that good grades = good future life - to see that, after making much effort, the student ends up with a grade that is not very different from his previous, problematic results. But from the point of view of the student, everything has changed. He has become more independent. He has learned how to read a randomly given material in the context of his own interests. He thereby also learned how to relate to others, including many unwanted facts and features of what's already out there in the world waiting for him. He has also learned how to translate the material into his own words, and so the material will stay with him beyond school and will eventually accumulate into something that can be called his soul or personality. He can now sympathize with others, he can intelligently listen to others, understand others, and present himself as an individual. This is quite a feat for a teenager. Especially when the entire system and youth consumerist culture of Japan tends to discourage the development of these skills.
Obviously, as a tutor the bulk of lesson-time goes to explaining ideas and concepts in the five big topics - Japanese, English, Mathematics, Natural Science, and Social Studies. Especially for mathematics and natural science, it was necessary for me to frequently re-visit the material in order to prepare lessons for high school students. (Japanese high school teaches AP level math and science at grade 10, which makes it challenging for students naturally but also very rewarding.) Re-visiting these subjects after a detour into philosophy has really given me new insights into how to interpret what is known as "facts" in mathematics and physics, in chemistry and biology. It was especially interesting to notice that high school physics already includes an introduction to quantum physics and relativity, which is quite impressive. And to have the opportunity to explore these topics once more at this point in life is a privilege and a pleasure.
These are not exactly original insights. They are rather a series of sobering reflections.
